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QUAERITUR: Theologi si fuerint cervisiae… (If theologians were beers…)

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Over at Ascent of Carmel we find (and you will have to go there to find the explanations…):

If Theologians Were Beers… A Selection
“In Catholicism, the pint, the pipe and the Cross can all fit together.”
-G.K Chesterton

Yesterday, my good friend and I were joking lightheartedly about theology and beer, and it occured to me, in all this posting on theology and prayer, that it might do me and anyone else who even happens to read this blog a bit of good to post something lighter in nature. Hence, since I am a beer connossieur of sorts, I wish to offer my list of which theologians would be which beers and ales. Obviously, I mean no irreverence by it all. Here we go:

1. St. Thomas Aquinas
We must say without hesitation that St. Thomas Aquinas would be Guinness Stout. This is proved:
Firstly, we must say that, […]

2. Tertullian
Tertullian’s biting invectives and savage polemics warrant him his own beer representative in the world to be the India Pale Ale, though this comes in many varieties. […]

3. Bl. John Duns Scotus After several minutes of intense pondering, it has occurred to me that Duns Scotus would warrant the comparison to Smithwick’s Irish Ale. […]

4. St. Hildegard Von Bingen It has come to my attention that St. Hildegard, a soon to be declared Doctor of the Church and medieval mystic, should be compared to Fraoch Heather Ale. […]

5. Fr. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange … an oft-maligned and yet supremely adept disciple of St. Thomas Aquinas, would have to be said to be an Oatmeal Stout. […]

6. Soren Kierkegaard The great Christian existentialist and forever-tormented-in-angst Lutheran, Soren Kierkegaard, must be said to be compared to Faxe Royal Strong. […]

7. Karl Barth … often cited as the greatest Christian theologian of the 20th century, hits with the same force as Tucher Pilsner. […]

I have a problem with some of these choices.  First, IPA for Tertullian?   Have they ever read Tertullian?

Also, where is Augustine ?  (Barley Wine?) Bonaventure? (Bock?)

No John Chrysostom?  No Albert the Great?

No Kung?  No Rahner?

No Ratzinger?

No John of the Cross?  Lonergan? Nichols?

No Newman?

Also, consumed chilled?  Room temp?

So many possibilities, so few blogging minutes.

Perhaps you can help both the original posters and me.


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